So maybe I’m back

In terms of blogging, not internet dating.  I’ve been thinking more about what this page could be.  I’m still in flux as to whether or not I have enough material to be mildly entertaining to anyone.  But today I received an e-mail from a friend of mine who is living in Argentina.  She’s been there about a year now and plans on staying another year.  I find her South American life exciting, adventurous, and an incredible challenge, and she flourishes amazingly there.  But every once in a while the little things in life remind her of her “other” life, in the states, with English, and her car, and cupcakes – more on that later.  So I’m stealing her material and regifting it to you.  So here goes….

“once upon a time i moved to this crazy south american country argentina. due to the italian influence, the coffee here is delicious and widely available. when i was here in 2005, there was not a single place you could get coffee to go, and it usually cost around $1…the thought of spending $4 on coffee would be insane, because you could get a decent meal for that much. starbucks was not on anybodys mind. then as the country continues to recover from the 2001 economic crisis, things got nicer, people became more globally aware, and inflation took over. spending $7 pesos, a little more than US $2 on coffee became the norm. then starbucks came to one little trendy mall. for the last 3 weeks, the line has been 3 blocks long, people waiting for hours to try whats they see in the movies, to be cool, and all. its a status thing, and a novelty. it costs what it would cost in the states, so a medium latte is around $12 pesos ($4 US), which can buy you pizza or empanadas or another simple meal. not cheap. but people are obsessed. today, i was walking buy on the way to the farmacia, and noticed the line was only about 15 people deep. ahh, coffee in the morning. so i wait, am tripped out that i cant just spit out ¨non fat vanilla latte” and have to switch it to spanish. a little 13 year old punk in line behind me was overeager, blatantly cut me and then the 2 chicks in front of me in line. i got my coffee, which cost $9.75, and paid with a $10. they didnt have change. they had give me $2 back because they didnt have a single coin. i saw 1 person order the cheapest thing on the menu, an espresso, later to be very sad that it was a tiny cup a third of the way filled. hilarious.”

I love the interstitial moments in her life abroad.  Even the small things, the things in my life that can seem insignificant take on humorous, frustrating, and sometimes incredible qualities.  It’s those moments in between that would keep you on your toes, not so comfortable, keep you learning.  There’s something to living like that that’s appealing.

An End Means A Beginning

So,  I’m blogging today to let you know that today is officially the last day of my eHarmony subscription.  I have had it about 4 months I think.  It had it’s highs, it had some definite lows.  All in all, an experiment I learned from.  Met a couple cool people, met some not so cool people.  I ran through the matches, which I’ve admittedly let pile up in the last few weeks.  Also, I’m thinking eHarmony recognizes that you’ve cancelled your subscription and so sends you an ubber amount of matches in hopes of luring a little more money out of you.  I’m not that big of a sucker! at least not today.  I did however run through the matches that I hadn’t looked at just to make sure Mr. Perfect wasn’t hidden in there somewhere.  I did find one really cool looking guy from Searcy, Arkansas.  My childhood best friend has grandparents there and they own a huge grape vineyard.  When we were kids we used to go help harvest grapes sometimes in the summers and it is one of those perfect childhood memories of hot weather and adventure and friends.  So Searcy boy had the added bonus of some nostalgia on my part.  I sent him a “fast track” e-mail.  haha  Meaning I skipped all the usual eHarmony steps and just sent him an e-mail, but he had in his bio that he prefered that anyway.  We’ll see.  It’s my hail Mary if you will.

And it just wouldn’t be right to end the eHarmony saga without a last installment of Things not to do on eHarmony.  …….And the final award goes to a lucky fella who posted this as his only picture. 

 

 

He also didn’t even specify which dude he was.   You’ll have to excuse the poor quality of it as eHarmony tries to keep you from pulling the pics off their site so I had to bootleg it.  It’s two dudes either under some covers or in a hottub or something whack.  And which dude is he?  and more importantly, does it even matter once you’ve posted that as your only pic?

As far as my life as a blogger I’ve yet to decide if I have anything exciting enough to add to the endless virtual dialogue to continue posting.  I’m thinking through what this page could be about and if it would be remotely encouraging or entertaining to the 3 of you who read it.  ha   we’ll see.

Thanks for following along.

I’m Back

Ok,  so sorry for the hiatus.  What had happened was… I got cocky.  See I thought I was onto to something with a certain someone and decided I’d let it play out for a little while before I made any progress or disappointment public knowledge.  Even code names aren’t enough sometimes it seems.  BUT- sadly he flaked, or I pissed him off, or blahblahblah, you know the routine.  In hindsight, I think he flaked and THEN I pissed him off.  haha  I took some advice from my slightly younger, much more diva, sister in regards to the wording of a text message I sent him about his alleged flakiness.  My sister usually has guys beating down her door so I assumed her game was tighter than mine.  Looking back, it was a weak moment and my game is plenty tight.  ha  But no harm no foul.  He wasn’t the dude.  So I’m Back in the Game!!! 

A few things have gone on since my last post but I’m just going to hit a couple highlights and move forward.

 I had a few moments of laughter over a pastor’s answer to the question “What’s something people don’t usually notice about you that you wish they would?”  He went on for 2 paragraphs about how humble he is.  haha  I mean really?  At first I thought I was laughing with him, that he was making a witty joke.  Then sadly realized I was actually laughing AT him as he not so humbly described his humility.

The newest news is that I met a guy in Memphis who seems like a cool guy.  He actually came out to my soccer game last week which was impressive seeing that the Memphis women’s league isn’t necessarily the epitome of athletic display.  But it was fun to meet him.  We went out for a beer after the game.  I brought Ashleigh and Jen, all three of us still in our soccer jerseys.  Did I say my game was tight earlier???????  Anyways, it went well, we’ll see.  I’m going out with him tomorrow night.

I’ll end with this thought: last names.  It’s something I’m usually aware of pretty early in the deal.  More of a curiosity kind of way not in a penning my first name in front of his last in cursive all over notebooks kind of way.  So what do you do when the last name isn’t something you’re thrilled about?  I mean if it’s the right guy then you obviously make it work.  But a little piece of me cringes to imagine being called Mrs. Woody.  just sayin

Apparently- There’s a battle

So yesterday I’m sitting on the floor in my living room folding clothes, I know it’s hard to imagine, when this commercial comes on tv.

http://www.youtube.com/v/2kGSE0jPYmw“

So apparently there is a little tension in the internet dating world.  Here’s one more for you- pretty awkward

http://www.youtube.com/v/NgxOhG2nDOA“

In other news, Maverick is supposed to be back in town this week so I’m looking forward to hearing from him.  And another guy, one of the pastors, who I’ve e-mailed a few times put me “On Hold” which I feel like is awkward.  haha  I clicked on it and he said he’s stopping his search for now but may be back later.  YEA – I’ll be sure to wait around. 

Seriously Entertaining

So this morning I check my e-mail and I received this weird newsletter from the eHarmony gurus.  I’m not exactly sure of the purpose but they did include this amazing article that I just couldn’t let you miss out on.  I wanted to just clip a small part out to post and then laugh at but there is so much ridiculousness here I couldn’t chose.  ENJOY

Flirting 101 for the Ladies

Welcome to Flirting 101, your guide to charming any prince in 2008. Whether you’re a natural-born lash-batter interested in brushing up on your skills or a novice looking to cultivate your come-hither credentials, this is the year to embrace the fine art of flirting. Ready to get your flirt on? Let’s get started!

First, it’s important to acknowledge that flirting can happen anywhere, at any time, with anyone. From picking out produce (while picking up guys) at the grocery store to making casual conversation while standing in line for your latte to exchanging flirty glances at the dog park, you can—and should—flirt daily! After all, practice makes perfect, and to become a seasoned flirting pro you should practice often.

Second, it’s equally important to know that flirting doesn’t have to lead anywhere. You can routinely flirt with cute strangers and never give them your name or number. By flirting regularly, you allow yourself to hone your flirting style so that when you do meet someone you’re interested in, you’ll have all the right moves. The result? He’ll ask for your number in no time. Score!

Now that you’re down with the importance of flirting daily, here are some tips to help cultivate your individual flirting style:

Be yourself (and always be prepared)
To flirt with confidence, you don’t need to channel Marilyn Monroe. Instead, it’s important to be yourself—your smart, sweet, sexy self, that is! And because flirting can happen anytime and anywhere, a seasoned flirter takes her cue from the Boy Scouts and is always be prepared, not to mention looking her best. That doesn’t mean wearing tons of makeup to the gym or stilettos to the supermarket. No, to be the best version of yourself, you should follow this simple rule: Always leave the house with the appropriate amount of makeup, hair styling, and cute and comfortable clothing for the day ahead of you. That way, if you happen to spot a cute stranger while running your Saturday errands or on the way home from work in the evening, you’re armed and ready to get your fabulous flirt on!

Make the most of your flirting moves
When you do find someone you’d like to flirt with, it’s time to use your best flirting moves. These include making eye contact and then looking away, offering a shy inviting smile, and playing with your hair. If the object of your flirtation approaches, let him do the initial talking and respond with subtle enthusiasm and confidence. Continue to make eye contact and smile. If he says something funny, be sure to laugh. That’s a definite ego boost for any guy who’s brave enough to approach a cute girl! Be sure to give him the occasional compliment to encourage him. Finally, if you’re enjoying the flirt fest and would like him to continue and/or ask for your number, find a reason to touch your guy. If you’re talking and want to emphasize a point, squeeze his arm. If he says something particularly amusing, laugh and lightly touch his hand or leg. These simple flirting moves tell the object of your flirtation that you’re interested, giving him the green light to ask for your number.

Don’t try too hard
Flirting is a subtle sport, and one that should not be played too aggressively. That begins with your appearance. Don’t wear something too provocative (low cut, too tight, too short, too revealing). It sends the wrong message that you’re not so much flirty as you are, well, easy. That’s actually an important distinction to make—the difference between flirting and being overtly sexual. Flirting should be light, fun, and casual, whereas being overtly sexual entails using overly suggestive words and aggressive body language. Don’t make the mistake of trying too hard and being overtly sexual. Instead, relax, have fun, and be fabulously flirty!

Play the game (and play to win!)
Flirting is a game of cat and mouse. Just as you shouldn’t try too hard, you should also NOT do all of the work. Let the object of your flirtation pursue you, too. Make him work a little to get that pat on the arm and/or giggle. If your attention and affection come too easily, he’ll quickly lose interest. Remember, you’re a catch. Play the game by letting him try and catch you.

Leave him wanting more
Even if you’re having the time of your life, always, always, always, leave him wanting more. Cut the conversation or date short, using a variety of vague excuses that’ll make him wish he had just a few more minutes of your fabulous time. Excuse examples include:
“This has been fun, but I really have to go.”
“Look at the time. I should get going.”
“It’s been great talking to you, but I can’t stay any longer.”

By being just a little bit mysterious, your guy will go out of his way to try and see you again. If he hasn’t already, he’ll definitely ask for your number now that he feels you slipping away. And then it’s up to you whether or not you hand him your digits.

In 2008, the key to flirting lies in being yourself, practicing regularly, and making the most of your finely honed flirting moves. By becoming a seasoned pro, you greatly increase your chances of dating success because you’ve mastered the art of not only getting a guy’s attention but playing the game and leaving him wanting more. Soon you’ll be able to charm any prince who strikes your fancy. And in the meantime? Flirt away!

I’m a pastor magnet.

So in the last week or so I’ve been matched with 3 pastors on eHarmony. Interesting. All seem like neat guys, good looking, seem fun. One of them asked me straight up if I’d ever thought about being a pastor’s wife and how would I feel about that. Aside from the forwardness of mentioning the word wife before he knew my last name I thought it was a good question when shopping online for a wife. ( some sarcasm inserted here) It got me thinking. I told him I didn’t grow up as a young girl longing for the day that I’d marry a pastor but that some of the most incredible women I know are pastor’s wives. What the 3 pastor matches really got me thinking about is eHarmony in general. I really didn’t know much about dating sites when I started this whole deal, still don’t really. But as I’ve slowly told friends about my adventures in internet dating I’ve been really surprised by some of the intense reactions I’ve gotten to the eHarmony deal. Some people had some strong feelings and not all of them pleasant. I heard tales of people being told they were “unmatchable” and that eHarmony was only for “bible beating christians” and that I was lame for picking the site. WHO KNEW?! I mean all of the guys I’ve been matched with have professed to be pretty excited about Jesus but I assumed that was just because that’s what I’m looking for and the genius eHarmony scientific equation knows that right?

Well I did a quick google search and found this. The first thing is apparently the message you get if you are “unmatchable”

Unable to Match You At This Time!

eHarmony is based upon a complex matching system developed through extensive testing of married individuals. One of the requirements for it to work successfully is for participants to fall into our rigorously defined profiles. If we aren’t able to match a user well using these profiles, the most considerate approach is to inform them early in the process…Unfortunately, we are not able to make our profiles work for you. Our matching system is not suitable for about 20% of potential users, so 1 in 5 people simply would not benefit from our service. We hope that you understand that we regret our inability to provide service for you at this time.

Hmmm, so obviously the unmatchable deal has some people pretty worked up. And I can see how that could be discouraging in a number of ways. Below is something else I found on a message board that caught my attention.

Unless you fit into the white-bread moral-majority norm, eHarmony will not attempt to help you.

It don’t think it’s quite that simple. I’m as left-leaning agnostic as they come, and when I took the test on a lark a couple of years ago, the system accepted me (and immediately sent matches!). A few of the matches they sent were also clearly lefty agnostic types (and — really flying in the face of the “right-wing Christians only” theory — one guy openly stated he was a marketer for a major adult entertainment company), though some were wildly off-base polar opposites (the guy who said he hated books and hated cities was an amusing match for me, I thought).

Not saying that eHarmony isn’t geared in a more narrow direction, but I think it’s a more complex metric than automatically filtering out anyone who isn’t a self-identified conservative Christian.

It’s an interesting deal. Nothing I’m losing sleep over or really digging that deep into but I’m curious if anyone’s heard any of this dialogue or has thoughts on the matter? Who knows, maybe I’m just supposed to marry a pastor. Or maybe a helicopter pilot? haha just sayin

Ok, so you’ve got my attention

HELLO!!  Thanks for checking on my blog and the goings on of the eharmony action.  

First, I know I said I was going to stop blogging about Maverick, but I did get an e-mail from him last week.  He’s still out of the country and won’t be back for a couple more weeks.  Think safe thoughts.

 Ok, so I got a new match.  We’ll call him Brother Lewis.  So Brother Lewis is from Nashville and is a computer programmer.  So far, so normal.  But THEN you get to his personalty profile and the first question is “What are you passionate about?”  This is the first sentence he writes “I’m just a regular dude, but I feel like I have an irregular understanding of Jesus’ reality.”  WHAT?!  Ok, so you’ve got my attention.  I don’t even begin to understand my own reality much less do I profess to have an inkling of insight about what Jesus’s reality is.   So I started communication with this guy because if he has the inside scoop then we need it!  I’ll post the truth about Jesus’s reality on here as soon as Brother Lewis enlightens me.  Y’all can thank me later.

OOOOhhhhhhh B-B-BURN!!!!

Ok, so here’s the deal. I told you I’d gotten two matches in the last week, remember? The dude that looks like someone from Jackson and then the, and I quote my blog from yesterday (this will be importantly shortly) “the no go!” as in I’m not interested it would never work! But I didn’t close the match because I thought that could look kinda rude to close it immediately and the guy seemed to have a decent sense of humor. Well when you close a match eHarmony gives you this list of reasons why you are closing it. So I usually just pick “other” and move on. Why mince words, you don’t even know these peops. Well tonight I sign on and Mr. No Go has closed our match so out of curiousity I click it to see why he thought we weren’t soul mates. THIS is what I saw:

On February 12, 2008, 11:50AM PST Heath chose to permanently close communication with you for the following reason(s):

I think our family backgrounds are too different.
I don’t feel that the chemistry is there.
I want to pursue other matches at eharmony.
I would rather not say.
I think the difference in age between us is too great.
I think the difference in our values is too great.
Based on statements in their profile, I’m not interested in this match.

SEVEN reasons! haha The dude lists 7 reasons why we won’t work. And I might add, one of his reasons is “I’d rather not say” and then he lists SIX more reasons! Now come on! You don’t even know me fool. BURN! love hurts right?
I mean we’ll hope it’s his decent sense of humor shining through and he’s lucky I have a decent sense of humor myself. I can retaliate with a final closing statement, an option I haven’t used up to this point. BUT, no time like the present right? Mu-hu-ah-ah!!! (imagine crazy deviant laughter) It’s ON!!!

Nashville, and first dates, and anonymity

A little Haiku for you:

A trip to Nashville
The first date happened, oh yea
WOOT, for Maverick

just sayin So great weekend. A couple of great friends, Tucker and Becky, gave me a ride to N-town which was hilarious and worth the trip in itself. Then I got to catch up with some high school friends. That was so neat, just to hear about life and how things are playing out for everybody. I should make more time for that.

I got to go out with Maverick, and I am slightly hesitant to keep writing about this on here for fear that he’s found it. For now he’s out of the country for a few weeks to do some badass super cool GI JOE type secret mission for the government. But when he gets back, if he’s reading this it could hurt my game – gotta try to keep the game tight. haha So I think the updates pertaining to him may fade away at this point at least for a little while. I don’t want to jinx a good thing.

As far as other eHarmony news, there is none. I’ve had two new matches in the last week and a half or so. 1 guy is from Jackson and looks JUST LIKE this guy I knew in high school but he has a different name. I wonder if he’s using a code name. So staying FAR away from that. That could get awkward. haha Then the other guy was a no go. I’m pretty sure he closed the match on me. no harm no foul So I don’t have any funny stories for you but I’ll keep you posted. Thanks for checking in

Code names

Ok, sorry for the hiatus.  Here’s the deal, let me lay it out for ya.  So I’m getting increasingly more excited about Maverick with every e-mail that passes.  That is super fun and also makes me slightly nervous.  Just one of those don’t get your hopes up too high because then it will hurt worse if it just flops.  But Jen says you can’t live like that, and she’s right.  Why miss out on the excited, butterflies in your stomach phase because you’re scared it might not be a perfect ending?  I mean when you say it like that, who wants to be that weakling?!   Not me!

So I haven’t written because it’s going well and I don’t want to jinx it.  Also we exchanged real e-mail addresses and therefore know each other’s last names.  Good job Jes on naming your blog your name.  Nice work, real incognito.  So if he googles me this thing will show up.  And don’t judge, I mean I googled him.  It’s 2008 and we met on the internet.  Are you really surprised?  So Maverick, and I’m dying inside if you’ve found this and have figured out that I gave you the code name Maverick,  if you’re reading this I’m hoping you’re laughing.

I’m actually catching a ride with Tucker and Becky to Nashville this weekend to hang out with my best friend growing up, Lori.  So I’m hoping it works out that I get to meet Maverick.  these are exciting times people!  haha

Except for Maverick there’s been no eHarmony action.  I’m not sure if it’s coincidence, or that I’m not giving off good vibes to the other guys now that I’m excited about Maverick, or if there’s some kind of time limit where you’ve kind of been matched with most of the people and now find yourself in the dead zone.  Who knows, and at this point, who cares?  Think good thoughts about the weekend.  And he told me he’ll be leaving the country for a few weeks, but can’t talk about it!  How fun is that?  Like a movie or something.  haha  Ok, enough for now.